Sunday, September 18, 2005

Putting the "suck" in Ch'usŏk

As I mentioned over on AsiaPages, today is my birthday. Almost every year, it seems, my birthday falls on or near Ch'usŏk [also spelled as diacritic-less Chusok or (yech!) Chuseok]. In the West, it would be like being born on Christmas or a couple days before: No one is ever around for a party, since they're off to their hometowns somewhere south. Everyone is preoccupied with the holiday.

Even back in California, my birthday was ill-timed. Growing up, I had to deal with my mother's birthday AND my parents' anniversary being five days before mine, which meant mine was often forgotten or "consolidated" with my mother's (some years there would be one cake for the two of us, which really sucks as a kid). My grandmother (who lived with us half the time) had her birthday a week before mine, and to top it off, my birthday was always during the busy first or second week of school. People simply forgot it.

That was annoying enough, but then, while I was still in my teens, my older sister decided to get married the day before my birthday, forever making my birthday a secondary affair to their anniversary celebration.

My little brother, who got married before my older brother or I (I'm still not married, of course), decided to get married on 9/11/99, the week before my birthday, which just made things worse. 9 x 11 = 99, so they thought it was a neat day. Who knew that two years later 9/11 would symbolize something so horrible? [In 2002 or 2003, I asked my brother if he and his wife ever considered just "officially" celebrating their anniversary on a different day, like March 11 (exactly six months before/after their actual anniversary) or November 9 (thus keeping the 11 x 9 = 99 theme). Apparently a lot of other people had asked him the same thing, but he and his wife decided no: they figured there should be at least ONE happy thing associated with that date.]

My mother, bless her heart, wanted to make sure she wished me a happy birthday while it was actually my birthday (she's missed a few times, thanks to the time difference, and one year she forgot altogether), so she called me at 3 p.m. California time, which is 7 a.m. here. She always has a problem with this, mixing up a.m./p.m. or subtracting a day when she should be adding. Sheesh. It's not like I'm the first one of our relatives to be living in Korea or Japan!

At 7 a.m., after talking with my mom, I finally got back to bed, but then every time I started to doze off, I would get a text message from a friend, relative, alumni association, or corporate entity wishing me a Happy Birthday! or Eat a lot of songpyŏng for Ch'usŏk! I never did manage to fall back to sleep in any useful way.

As I told Jodi, sucky birthdays get a mulligan. I will be re-celebrating my birthday as long as it's still September 18 in Hawaii, which is well into September 19 here in Korea. And again on 음력 9월18일, sometime in October. Presents are welcome. There may be a party.

ADDENDUM TO ORIGINAL POST:
I forgot to add that, like
Space Nakji, I get people who feel sorry for me or ask me if I'm lonely this holiday because my immediate family is all back in California (but unlike Space Nakji, I rarely get anyone asking me if I know what Ch'usŏk is). We would never do that kind of thing in America; just ask all the Jewish people who are never asked during Christmas if they feel empty inside.

18 comments:

  1. Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you boy! And that's from over here in America where it is still officially Sunday the 18th. I bet the day of your birth was one of the happiest days of your mom's life. If I know mothers, and I think I do, she's able to recount her every memory of that day. In fact, why don't you just give me her number. Maybe I'll call her up and we can talk it over in detail.

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  2. 생일 축하합니다. Growing up, no one could ever come to my birthday as it was during school holidays... I know how you feel

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  3. Happy Birthday . . . one day late. Sorry.

    Jeffery Hodges

    * * *

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  4. sunny wrote:
    Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you boy! And that's from over here in America where it is still officially Sunday the 18th.
    I know. My dad called me this morning, in fact (my parents are still married, but they didn't call at the same time because my mom is up in Chico (?) for a wedding.

    I bet the day of your birth was one of the happiest days of your mom's life. If I know mothers, and I think I do, she's able to recount her every memory of that day. In fact, why don't you just give me her number. Maybe I'll call her up and we can talk it over in detail.
    Funny story about the day of my birth: it was the first day of a graduate class at UCLA that my dad had to drop because of me. How do I know this? Because I was blamed for it years later. ;)

    Another bit of trivia about the day of my birth, or rather, the day before: the car my dad drove my mom to the hospital in is the same car I was driving as a freshman in college. That's how cheap my dad is. Cheap and petty. Like "Good 'n Plenty," only with more bitterness.

    Oh, and one more thing: my parents actually considered having a C-section on my mom's birthday because they thought having my birthday, her birthday, and their anniversary all on the same day would have made for a neat story. I think it would have gotten them a call from Child Protection Services.

    [bitterness mode off]

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  5. [bitterness mode off]

    This originally was in < > brackets but Blogger said, "Your HTML cannot be accepted: "bitterness mode off" tag is not allowed."

    I thought that was funny somehow.

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  6. Space Nakji wrote:
    Happy Birthday, Kushibo! Sorry to hear that it sucked. I myself share a birthday with one of my nephews, which for the past nine years has meant being overshadowed by his far more important single-digit birthdays.

    Funny you should mention that. In an act of Karma, all five of my nephews and nieces have their birthdays within ten days of each other. God is punishing my three siblings for ignoring my birthday.

    This year turned out okay, though, since I was actually "home" to attend his birthday party and even got my very own plate o' chocolate cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles.

    Cupcakes make good stand-ins. Rice cakes do not!

    Anyway, I hope that during your "mulligan" (had to google that one) you'll have the chance to enjoy some chocolate cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles of your own--or whatever equivalent treat rings yer bell.

    When 9월18일 rolls around on the lunar calendar, I'm getting myself an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins.

    I thought "mulligan" was a well-known term. Granted, my mom plays golf all the time and one of my cousin's is a golf pro, but I heard from other people, not them.

    Maybe I picked it up playing miniature golf.

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  7. Bubba wrote:
    I was born a week before Christmas, and in my socio-economic bracket, that mean I got to choose between which day I wanted the gift to represent. I usually chose to get it early -- so it was called a birthday present -- wrapped in Christmas paper...

    And talk about everybody being preoccupied with something else besides you....


    That sucks worse than my story. Thanks for stealing my birthday thunder, Bubba.

    My sister, born in June, got 2 gifts per year from all in the family, by the way. (me soundnig bitter)

    Birthday bitterness... I hear ya!

    I did also get married the day after Christmas. It was the one week I had off in Korea and could fly back to the States, and it was a good time, because my friends and relatives from the area who had moved off would be back in town visiting family. Most of all, however, it has helped me remember my anniversary with ease.

    Wedding anniversary on Boxing Day, the traditional day for giving gifts to service workers? That's ballsy.

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  8. i eat babies wrote:
    happy b-day kushibo ajushi!

    Just how old do you think I am?! I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... what's younger than an ajoshi?

    And to the rest of you, gyopo, san nakji, nora sumi, horace jeffery hodges, thanks for the message.

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  9. "Just how old do you think I am?! I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... what's younger than an ajoshi?"

    ohppa? but I thought if you're around 30ish, you're ajushi..
    For ur b-day get yourself a lexus es 330. You can get the current model pretty cheaply since it'll be discontinued next year.

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  10. i eat babies wrote:
    "Just how old do you think I am?! I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... what's younger than an ajoshi?"

    ohppa?


    Oppa?! I thought you were a guy! If you are a woman, then all I can say is, "How you doin'?"

    but I thought if you're around 30ish, you're ajushi..

    Well, maybe. That's the problem in Korean, there are agashi to differentiate young, unmarried women from married ajumma, but nothing to do the same for unmarried men: they're all ajoshi.

    For ur b-day get yourself a lexus es 330. You can get the current model pretty cheaply since it'll be discontinued next year.

    How cheaply would that be in Korea? I'd certainly like one.

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  11. Happy belated birthday, Kushibo!

    "Just how old do you think I am?! I'm a... I'm a... I'm a... what's younger than an ajoshi?"

    You're a 총각, are you not? A bit old-fashioned, but I can't think of any other term....

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  12. You are either a 학생 or 아저씨, that's it.... sorry

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  13. San Nakji wrote:
    You are either a 학생 or 아저씨, that's it.... sorry

    I've always been a mix. Any little kid shorter than I am has been calling me 아저씨 since I was a teenager. And taxi drivers and older people still call me 학생.

    Maybe the subconscious reason I drive is so that I can avoid hearing people call me 아저씨. Some day that's what people will always be calling me... some day. I just hope I'm living somewhere else when people would start calling me 할아버지.

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  14. Hey Sewing! As much as I like the word 총각 (also used in 총각김치 not sure if it's from the same Chinese character - or if is supposed to be some kind of joke or something - anyway, thanks for taking be back)
    Maybe Kushibo would prefer to be called a 청년.

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  15. Space Nakji wrote:
    Kushibo, if I ever happen to spot you around Seoul, I'll be sure to accost you suddenly and yell out "야, 꼬마!" or "이 녀석!" You know, just to give you a change of pace, shake things up a bit.

    It won't happen. As soon as I spot your tentacles, Space Nakji, I'll run into the nearest Coffee Bean.

    By the way, I put the "suck" in 녀석.

    Yes, I know, this post makes no sense.

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  16. Sunny:

    I think there is a connection, and the etymology is deliberate. The first time I learned what 총각김치 is was from a decent, respectable, church-going family, where 총각 was explained as denoting, well, let's say, a certain part of anatomy.

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